Caring Hearts

Vomit everywhere.

I was attempting to drop my 4-yr-old son off at daycare, but he wasn’t having any of it. His ‘Mom, please don’t leave’ crocodile tears were so intense, he threw up all over the classroom floor. Every bit of my heart wanted to grab him, go home and never do this again. As I reached for towels to clean up the mess, this little girl cried out…

Ewwwwe! That’s SO gross!

“CARING HEARTS! We will have caring hearts!”

Silence.

I could have laughed and cried at the same time. That teacher’s response was so genuine and perfect.

I blotted the puke off my son’s face, looked him in the eyes and reassured him, “You are so brave, you got this. You’re going to have a great day. I can’t wait to see you tonight. You know I love you.”

Time is my currency.

Time drives the day. I either earn that time with my family

Or….

I spend the evening catching up with work. Lately, it’s been more of the latter. That kid deserves his Mom fully present in the evening, so I’ve had to find ways to be more efficient, to love deeper and forgive myself for what I cannot do. I’ve also had to recognize that I’ve chosen a very full life that makes me insanely happy, but my time is important.

The #1 thing I’ve learned this year is if work-life is hectic, my husband has to be my #1 priority. I have to pour even more energy into the man that’s helping to hold it all together, ensuring we remain our go-to people amid whatever life throws at us. I’m grateful for such a hard-working, wonderful husband and father, but he needs to know this and be met with grace, especially when I need to lean on him more. He also needs time away from it all, as do I, so we’re getting better at prioritizing that!

Children grow up too fast…says the woman wishing her new baby would sleep through the night. I purposefully look my son in the eyes when he wakes up and before he goes to bed so he knows I am his person, always. Time with him, my daughter, just being present, playing, singing, dancing…it’s the heartbeat of our happiness grounded in prayer as we thank God every day for a ‘nice day’ before we kiss goodnight.

Work is where I will always need work. I strive for ‘get it done’ discipline, but I’m learning to ask for help. This next year, my goal is to be more simplistic and purposeful with my energies but also more forgiving of shortcomings…to have a caring heart, to be present, is just as important in our ‘big person’ world as it is to a preschool classroom.